The woman who wrote to me the following is full of wisdom, up until the point where she talks herself out of what she already knows:

"I am a widow, entrepreneur, retired Occupational Therapist, musician, piano teacher and mother of 3 grown, married daughters. I had begun to work in my former area of training, Occupational Therapy prior to my husband's death. In time, I started to look around and think about another business that did not require quite the fast pace and demanded less mobility. In the course of life, I had become disabled and I needed to rev up the intellectual side and reduce physical demands.

Tell me something, where did you learn that the cold call will be your secret to success, or that you should start selling to your "warm" market first - those people who already know you and love you? Let me tell you the story of a client who hired me to coach him because he was stuck in his business. He had heard that I had just released my new book, "Starting from No! Ten Strategies to Overcome Your Fear of Rejection and Succeed in Business." I spent an hour talking with him on the phone, and it was easy to see what his problem was. He was terrified to pitch himself to those most dear to him, his family and closest friends. The thought of their rejection paralyzed him from making any movement in his business. He made up plans and resolutions every week, procrastinated, went to sales training meetings, tried to get himself hyped up, nerved up, free of fear, and still, he was going nowhere but south, feeling worse about himself by the day.

I told him something very simple. If it scares the heck out of you to make cold calls and to pitch to your family, don't do it! He breathed an audible sigh of relief. I gave him permission to do what he was going to do anyway. Not everyone is cut out for cold calls. Not everyone should try to sell their products to a warm market. "Fear of rejection" is not as global as it sounds. In fact, we are each afraid of certain kinds of rejection. Very few of us will find the courage to leap over huge obstacles of immobilizing fear. Forget about all that "rah rah" talk that tries to convince you that you can accomplish anything, if you just put your mind to it. Sure, that's true in theory. But in practice, you will be much more successful if you find what you are really good at, and you don't tackle your worst nightmare at the start of your business.

Remember that client I was just telling you about? He fired me after one month and only two coaching sessions. I was delighted. He terminated my services because he didn't need me anymore. After our first session, he went into high gear, going after the market most comfortable for him, and forgetting, for the time being, the prospects he thought he was supposed to be going after. Magic - his fear of rejection subsided, he met with success, and success breeds confidence. He was rocking and rolling in just one month's time. He only needed permission to do what he was already doing - avoiding that which terrified him.

So, dear lady, treat yourself with kindness and don't worry about initiating cold calls quite yet. Start right where you are, with what comes naturally, and success will surely follow. I played piano for twelve years as a child, and I taught piano lessons as well. If you are teaching 28 children a week, while disabled even, you have plenty of courage! Do you teach all of your children the same way, or demand from them an identical performance? Of course not - you understand that each of your students has strengths and weaknesses. Some can play beautifully by ear, but their sightreading is abysmal. Others can make Chopin sing, but they'll destroy a Mozart. You help your students capitalize on their strengths and fortify their weaknesses. You make sure they choose music to learn that they enjoy. Above all, you make sure that they feel good about themselves, and always encouraged. And so it is, as well, in business. What makes you a successful piano teacher will also lead the way for you in Amway. Good luck!

Copyright 1999 by Azriela Jaffe - Azriela is the founder of " Anchored Dreams", and author of "Honey, I Want to Start my Own Business, A Planning Guide for Couples", and "Let's Go Into Business Together, Eight Secrets for Successful Business Partnering" (Avon Books 1998) and "Starting from No, Ten Strategies to Overcome Your Fear of Rejection and Succeed in Business" (Dearborn, April 1999). For free online newsletter for entrepreneurial couples, best ideas in business, or marketing on the web, or for information about her syndicated column, "Advice from A-Z", email az@azriela.com.

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Wanda Loskot - Success Connection
150 Heron's Run, Suite #124 - Sarasota, FL 34232 - USA
Phone (941) 342-4203 - Fax (240) 358-7445

Professional business coach, author & speaker specializing in Internet marketing.
Business seminars, corporate training and one-on-one coaching
for self-employed sales professionals and small business owners.

wanda@loska.com